It's four months into 2007 yet it still feels like the beginning of the year. As in right at the beginning of the year. And I've still only got four posts so far. It's quite obvious that I'm neglecting this place more and more. Or maybe it's to do with other "issues" which shan't be discussed here.
Well, there's close to nothing to report. Nothing has changed. Nothing has improved. If anything, the lack of improvement may be deemed as a bad thing in itself. I was hoping that things would change soon. But no, life doesn't go according to your whims and fancies, not your hopes and wishes.
Not cooperating with destiny? Hah. I wish I just had the guts to do just that.
It's been a while since I last had hour-long rants. Haven't had the time or energy last term to even contruct those thoughts into sentences. And as though one two hour-long rant isn't enough, I had to have another following it. Sometimes, once you start talking you just can't stop.
I don't know, I feel that people are drifting away. The excitement has died down. We all getting used to the situation, thus nobody does anything about it. It is, after all, already "normal". But "normal" isn't good enough for me, because it's a huge waste of time. I did not come here just to waste my time.
Yes I suppose I can learn things, that I stand to gain something out of this. But what? It's not a lot, nor as meaningful as a lot of other things that I could have learnt or could have gained had I chosen a different path somewhere along the road I've walked in the past three to four months.
I think I know which are the right choices, and which are the poor ones.
But it's a sad truth that the rules of the game say: there's no turning back.
All those bad choices, they're now all seen as a sunk cost. Nothing you do now can reverse them.
What matters now is how you proceed from here.
Roll the die and choose.
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