The trigger is different this time. Pull it?

There are these times when I'll suddenly be in the mood to talk.

Well, I'm usually not that averse to talking, and can be easily persuaded to rant for hours at end. It's just that these ... "talking moods" (if you can call them that) are different from the usual "rant moods".

Usually there'll be a "trigger". There are so many types, so many examples; I'm still in the midst of finding them. Searching, searching, searching... without even knowing what I'm looking for.

A couple of realisations ruined my originally good mood today, and I suppose that's why I'm talking again. This time.

Barely two hours after waking up, I find myself on a long train ride. Long, by local standards, because it means taking the train from one end of the island to the other. (It's interesting to remind yourself that you're living on an island. It's such an easy thing to forget.)

Hey but this is a highly-anticipated train ride. So I'm not complaining. I didn't. Not yet, anyway.

I mean, when that annual event finally arrives, I'm always too excited to be complaining about anything. You know, when the Day that you've been preparing for (however physically, mentally or perhaps even metaphorically) finally arrives? That's quite the notion.

But it arrives anyway. So let's go on with it.

And so Anime @ Expo day came and went. Named Resolutions this year, I can only wonder why I leave feeling dissatisfied. I wonder about these "resolutions". It's something to do with the crowd. Something's wrong with the crowd. But like always, I can't exactly pinpoint what.

For all I know, it might be something to do with me. I'm part of the crowd, no?

Pretty interesting.

But I was in a relatively good mood all the same. Regardless what in the entire December 16th had disappointed me. Something to do with this [preconceived] notion at the back of my mind. It could be related to that one mentioned not long ago.

I was in a good mood, but still too lazy to "talk". I wouldn't have posted anything.

That mood took quite the drastic turn when I realised some things. It's not like I'm going to say what, so don't expect it.

But the crux lies here. A so-called "turn of events", change of mood, and then I'm ready to "talk"? Why?

I need to figure out how I work. Because I quite like these talking moods. I wouldn't mind if I had them more often. But thing is, I don't wish to need a turn of events every time for this to occur. In that case, the deal's off.

I need a better one.