Birthday Day

I sleep like a pig. A log. An inanimate object. Whatever, but you'd get the idea by now.

And I must have thought it was the best present to give myself-- some well-deserved rest till about 11 am in the morning. I'm quite amazed at how I managed to sleep through all the noise. Everyone was up already; reading newspapers, conversing, walking about, washing things, eating breakfast. My dad remained asleep though, but I thought I heard sounds of snoring. But noise nonetheless.

And it's kind of stupid to be awake and think "I should get up now", and roll over and continue sleeping instead. There must have been a miscommunication problem somewhere between my Brain and my Muscles and whatever subconsciouness I have. Yet, it always happens. I don't go a week without this happening.

This morning Mum said that I obviously slept too much last night. "Just look at how puffy your eyes are," she said. And I go, "Huh? Really?" in a sleepy way. Sleep does that to you.

I got a jab this morning. Not long after when I decided to climb out of bed because even my dad had woke up by then. It was a flu vaccine. Ah... I've hated getting jabs since a long time ago. Especially when I found out that I would faint from jabs. I never did when i was younger, maybe about 7 or so. But since when I was 11 or 12, I keep going all faint and blue in the lips whenever I get a jab. The Primary Six jabs were rather humiliating. I was fine for about 10 minutes after the jabs, happy and all that it was finally over (and without the scary BCG) and then I went weak.

If it had something to do with being afraid of needles, I had a very serious case of slow reaction. The needles were long gone by the time I felt wrong.

Oh well, at least I had a nice sweet to suck on and a nice quite classroom to rest in. That was about the best thing that happened that day.

The Hepatitis B jab was the same case. I even warned my Mum before I fainted. Yup, like some 5 minutes or so into the conversation between her and the doctor.

It's such good news that I didn't faint today. I would have felt very embarrassed. And demoralised. (You mean four years and I haven't improved one bit?!)

I had an extremely sumptuous lunch. Nothing beats lunch at Boon Lay Raja. Nothing. Not even after all these years. I've loved it ever since I could remember. And what I pleasant present, too! ^-^

Besides, it's about the only time where I can finish a whole bowl of rice before Mum. And Bro, perhaps. And then call on second servings. It's almost a whole new me. I wish I could eat at this speed consistently. (Apparently not.)

I managed to make a trip to the library today. I'd say the view form the third storey is refreshing; it almost doesn't look like Jurong. Lol. Visiting new places always give that impression, that it's something so strange you don't recognise it anymore. Even if you have been looking at the same scenery for the past 5 years, just from a different perspective.

By now I would say that I have made some personal progress. Nope, not a single word of homework done, not one part of SIA completed. But I feel contented. If only I could put homework on hold indefinitely. That sort of contentment in life is much better than doing well in this assignment, that test, or the presentation on whichever day.

But life's sure hectic. I can't stop for too long to take in every single detail around me. I can't pause to memorise the scenery before it is changed, I can't keep holding on to everything the way they are now, the way they were then.

We do a lot of anticipation nowadays. Predicting things, so that we know what direction to move on to. It's doesn't seem to help to cling onto things past. Maybe it's right not to let them disappear, so long as you remember to keep the other eye on what's ahead of you. Achieve a balance, perhaps.

If your every action and decision says a bit of who you are, then forgetting the past means losing a bit of yourself. Change might then arrive so quickly that you won't know what to do about it. You might not even recognise it when you meet it right in the centre of your hectic schedule, not obviously or strikingly clothed, blending into the environment.

Maybe I should just take this observation and try to salvage my mathematics. I was good once, but I seem to have forgotten about it then. Now it's in a mess. I should try to do something, to help it. It can turn back into the way it once was. Of course, that's only possible after I rest my brain and all. Again.